A Story About Not Writing A Story

I never figured I’d be sitting here writing a little story about NOT writing little stories, but then I never figured I’d be writing about half the things I end up writing about anyways…For instance, I never figured on writing a little story explaining why I didn’t really fall asleep lying down in the middle of the road to Borden Springs at 4 o’clock in the morning…..:-)  Or a little story about bribing an Israeli Army patrol with basketball tickets to a championship game for not “detaining me for my own good” when I was traveling with the Bedouins in the Sinai Desert….Or even writing a little story about having an ambulance and the police over for a visit cause while I was trying to swat a fly with my hand, I broke out the window in our kitchen and nearly bled to death…:-) But I sure did write those little stories and sometimes when I go back and read them myself I don’t know what’s harder for me to believe, that I did some of those crazy things to begin with or that after doing them I wrote about them and then posted them on the internet……:-)

But this little story today is about why I haven’t been writing my little stories and maybe it’ll be a little less embarrassing than some of my other little stories, I mean it couldn’t be more embarrassing…..:-) You see fellow gardeners I haven’t been writing my usual little stories everyday here lately cause to tell you the truth I ain’t felt like it. Not cause I’m so sick I can’t even physically sit in front of a computer and write or anything like that…..Or not cause I got writer’s block or something…..Cause when you’ve been doing goofy things like I have just about everyday for nearly 60 years and you’ve only been writing about them for a few months well running out of things to write about ain’t one of my problems…..:-)

But to tell the God’s honest truth fellow gardeners, I ain’t been writing little stories here lately simply cause I just ain’t felt like writing at all!! I’m not sure what’s wrong with me medically, that’s what I been running around to all these doctors offices here lately for.  They know I’m anemic but the question is why. I’ve had so many pictures taken of me here lately I’m starting to feel sympathy for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt being tired of having their pictures taken every time they turn around. You see fellow gardeners here lately I’ve had so many CAT scans and X-rays and now they want me to do something called a PET scan, that I’m afraid I’m going to start to glow in the dark like a Lightning Bug……:-)

To be on the safe side until they do figure out why I’m so anemic and to help me build up my blood the doctors have put me on iron tablets and my wife now makes me eat enough spinach now to make even Popeye The Sailor jealous. When Linda told me that one serving of shrimp contained 15% of your daily iron requirements, well I decided the best thing for me to do is to eat a pound of shrimp everyday cause Lord have mercy I love shrimp!! So now I’ve eaten so many shrimp cocktails smothered in hot horseradish sauce here lately that not only do I glow in the dark like a flowering Moonflower Vine from all the X-rays and CAT scans I’ve taken but my body is starting to put off massive amounts of heat from all of that horseradish sauce I been ingesting ……:-)

But one thing I know for sure is anemia ain’t good for writing little stories or weeding in your garden or watering your containers and flower beds or even a simple thing like deadheading your daises for that matter….Why I’ve even fallen down on my main job which is to keep the dishwasher loaded with any dirty dishes at all times…Cause you can’t ever tell when somebody is going to drop by and for my own “health” it’s better I open the front door for them only wearing my underwear than have somebody come walking through the kitchen with even one dirty dish in the sink……:-)

And what I really want to tell you right now is that I kinda feel like I been letting some of you folks down by not writing…..Cause some of you fellow gardeners who keep up with my little stories might feel like well I used to drop by your house everyday for a nice visit and then one day I just quit coming over for no apparent reason and never said why and that’s why I’m writing this little story today……Does that make sense? Please tell me it does cause I’m getting too tired to go back and rewrite it again…….:-)

Now on a nice day like today I’d usually be outside piddling in the garden from morning till night and then coming in and writing about either what I did in the garden that day or some fool thing I did 30 years ago..:-) But I’ll tell you again fellow gardeners I just ain’t felt like writing about anything and that’s the truth. The absolute truth coming from a person we both know is the biggest liar you’ve ever known, ME…..:-)

Paul From Alabama