Brilliant Ideas or NOT

11 08 2011

Cars riding around Piedmont 24/7 365 days a year. Town full of cars full of people with cash in their pockets. There's a fortune to be made with the right man with the right idea at the right time.

I’ve got a brilliant idea to make a fortune, wanna hear it? It’s not a pyramid scheme, stock swindle or a gold mine up in Borden Springs. Nope it’s a money maker if ever there was one and if my grandfather or even my father had implemented my idea (if they’d known it) well I wouldn’t be going through my wife’s purse to find money to buy Black Kow Composted Cow Manure I can tell you that……:-) I’d be so rich I could buy my own cows……:-) And it would all come from the fortune my grandfather and father would have made if they’d only had my vision, my foresight. But I must admit though my vision turns out to be a just a little bit late. You see my idea is a great one and a sure thing but its about 40 years too late…..Darn it!!!…..:-)

You see Piedmont at one time was a bustling little town. Cars parked all along the streets, cars riding around town constantly, from early in the morning till late at night. I know, instead of being inside working helping my father at the Fair Store I was standing outside on the sidewalk in front watching all the traffic go by….Usually all my friends riding by who parents worked 5 days a week and didn’t run a clothing store that was open on Saturdays, so while all my friends rode around town on Saturday I was “working” at the Fair Store, well in all honesty I was  “working” on slipping out and riding around town with my friends for one round around town or if I was lucky and could get away with it, a couple of hours of rounds around town……:-)

But that ain’t your problem, that was mine and besides it has nothing to do with me being the richest man albeit from my inheritance in Piedmont, in Calhoun County, maybe the WORLD….:-) So before you fellow gardeners ask me to get back on topic and stop going on off on tangent after tangent that has nothing to do with the title let me just blurt out my idea for all of you to consider…..I don’t mind sharing a good idea with my fellow gardeners and I know you wouldn’t mind loaning me a small sum of money before the fall plant sales start at the plant nurseries this year but that’s a subject for another little story or a personal phone call or visit from me to you……:-) OK ready? Good.

Now Piedmont had cars riding around town just about 24/7 365 days a year. Am I right or am I right fellow gardeners? Of course I’m right. I’m always right except those few times that my wife might bring to my attention some slight thing I might by chance get wrong….:-) And now for my money making and sure thing if ever there was a sure thing idea. The Fair Store with a drive-in window!!!! (The Fair Store is a clothing store my family owned for over 80 years, from 1911 till 1995 or so.)

I know, I know what you’re thinking, “Paul From Alabama that is brilliant idea and we just can’t understand why you don’t live on an estate on Long Island next to Woody Allen or Carrot Top and drive a Rolls Royce with ideas like that, though that one is 40 years too late” And fellow gardeners I couldn’t agree with you more. I should be living on an estate even if it’s only on Second Ave. here in town. I could buy my neighbors house, tear it down so I could build a garage to hold all my garden tillers and Roll Royces.  Yes fellow gardeners I certainly deserve the good life and a drive-in window at the Fair Store would have been the ticket to my fortune. Even if I had to share a little bitty bit with my brother and sister and even had to buy my mother a one bedroom efficiency apartment two or three miles from the beach at Gulf Shores while I’m was luxuriating at my Second Avenue estate here in Piedmont…..:-)

Think of it, all those cars riding around in a circle around town all the time, every day with every car full of people with pockets full of money just hankering to wear the latest fashions from the Fair Store.!! And when a few selfish, self-centered people like my little brother Ralph parked their cars all day from morning till night in front of the Fair Store so you couldn’t even get a parking place to park to come in and shop, well they’d be this convenient drive through window and you’d pull up and yell out what you wanted, what size, what color and how many of each and I’d go get it, bag it up for you or even wrap it if it’s a gift (at a small extra charge of course..:-)) You’d stop at one window to order your clothing and pick it up at the next drive-in window and at a third drive-in window you’d pay for your purchase. Why if it’d help increase sales I’d have a ATM machine at fourth window for you shopping convenience….:-)

Fellow gardeners I can smell all that cash in the bags as I carry all them night deposits to the Farmer’s & Merchants Bank every night. Yes that’s my idea and it’s like all my ideas, brilliant. Well all my brilliant ideas that are brilliant except those few ones that aren’t, you know, aren’t brilliant…..:-)  Sorry what’s that you say? “Paul From Alabama what use is an idea to make a fortune when you have it 40 years too late?” A fair question fellow gardeners and well you have a valid point and the more that I think on it the more I think my idea won’t ever come to fruition and I’ll never live on an estate on Second Ave. or tear down my neighbor’s house for a garage to house all my garden tillers and Roll Royces. But here’s my other idea and it can be implemented right now and before you know it I’ll be rolling in cash and Black Kow Composted Manure. Ready for my idea? Here it is. Phone booths. Yes that’s right, little booths with a folding door in it and maybe part metal and part glass so you could see out of it. And what you do is when it rains or it’s cold or its hot as, well it’s hot. You’d be in an air conditioned or heated, dry, comfortable environment all the time during your phone call!!

Prototype of my "brilliant" idea for a phone booth for cell phone users. Pretty good idea huh?

“But Paul From Alabama, there has already been phone booths with phones in them but they’re out date now, passe’, old technology, a thing of the past”…….Good Lord fellow gardeners, I know that. I’m not stupid. I’m crazy but not stupid. I don’t mean phone booths with phones already in them. Of course not. I mean phone booths without phones so you can step inside and use your cellphone in comfort, air conditioning in summer, heat in winter and out of the rain in inclement weather……I tell you fellow gardeners I can smell the bags of cash now as I take them down to Farmer’s and Merchant’s Bank for my night deposit. Wait a minute. That might not be the cash I smell, darn it fellow gardeners. It’s the Black Kow Composted Cow Manure……Never mind…..

Paul From Alabama




2 responses

12 08 2011
anonymous friend

Paul, begining to worry about you…..have you been out in the sun too long, or standing on your head to get this brilliant idea? I thought at first you might have stollen the McDonald’s Idea of drive thru windows. I could just see you asking a customer “DO YOU WANT TO SUPER SIZE THIS DRESS, YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN PUTTING ON A FEW POUNDS MRS. SMITH” but then you had another brilliant idea of the climatized phone booth. Do you think Piedmont is ready for this…..last I heard it was hard to even get a siqnal for a good connection over those beautiful mountains. LOL Just kidding with you, Paul and keep those brilliant ideas flashing….we need the Free light !

12 08 2011
Nell Jean

Your idea for a private phone booth is almost as good as my idea for hooking up exercise machines in gyms to alternators and converting all that wasted energy to electricity that would light whole towns.

I wonder if people would duck into a nice private phone booth? They seem to want everybody to know how important they are by broadcasting their conversations all over Walmart or what jerks they are by wandering over the centerline of the highway in my direction. I heard a woman loudly complaining on a cell at a breakfast buffet the other that the restaurant ‘… don’t even have the salad bar.’ They had six kinds of fruit; lettuce and pickles for breakfast? She looked too old to be pregnant.

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